## MATH JOKE 5: FUNNY FUNNY MATH BLOGS

February 11, 2019

You will find the background pattern here.

The absolute delight of is its craziness. Tyler Vigen is studying law at Harvard Law School, but he puts together the most ridiculous data you can imagine to show the correlation between eg. Per capita cheese consumption AND the number of people who died by getting tangled in their bed sheets, people who drowned after falling out of a fishing boat AND the marriage ration Kentucky. Of course, what Tyler is demonstrating is the basic maths principle, mathspiggies, that correlation is not causation. Here is one of his fabulous graphs:

Here is one graph from Spurious Correlati0ns (above) and the cover of Tyler’s New Book (below).

Math with Bad Drawings is run by Ben Orlin. He describes himself as ‘a math maths teacher in Birmingham, England. Before that, I taught in Oakland, California. I’ve taught (or am currently teaching!) every level of mathematics from ages 12 to 18.’

Not only is Ben’s humorous and fascinating take on maths interesting, his philosophy of life is worth a read too. e.g. We are all simultaneously experts and beginners, flaunting our talents while trying to cover our shortcomings the way an animal hides a wound.’

Here are two delightful examples of his maths with bad drawings:

Mathspig has written about the fabulous What if? blog before.

Randall Munroe is a pro web cartoonist, maths nut and maths guru who answers crazy hypothetical questions using maths. His home website is xkcd.

His TED lecture is here.

Randall offers this warning to his KXCD blog: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). Of course, this makes his blog even more interesting. Maths, profanity and silly humour. Bring it on.

What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?

Could a bird deliver a standard 20″ New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?

Here is one example:

And his book What if? Can be found here.

The joy of Yan’s One Minute Math blog is his eclectic collection of topics from . Kow-Cheong Yan is a Singapore-based teacher, math consultant, math blogger and maths book author (Grade 1- 6).

The Lighter Side of Innumeracy gives an insight into maths incompetence and superstition in Singapore. It shows that charlatans can still prey on the innumerate. And Yan’s critique of Drill-and-Kill texts promoted in Singapore is refreshing in an age where politicians are forever calling for Back-to-basics teaching methods for maths.

But my favourite post on Yan’s blog is;

Mathematical Fiction is not optional. The number of novels using maths as a theme is inspiring especially with Yan adding a comment like this:

If you’re looking for math, women, sex, and back-stabbing, The Wild Numbers (Philibert Schogt) is a math melodrama unlikely to disappoint.

Mathjokes4mathyfolks is run by my good math(s) friend Patrick Vennebush, who lives in Virginia with his wife, twin boys and his Golden Retriever Remy. He loves math(s), laughing and telling jokes. He also runs online projects for National Council of Teachers of Mathematics.

Patrick believes math(s) should be fun and his blog includes jokes, problems and real-life challenges. His collection of jokes is published in a book and cover the gamete from cool to Dad-style jokes. Here’s an example:

Here are some examples from his blog:

Simultaneous Equations and Pizza

Angle of Opportunity looks at the angle a boy should pee in the toilet bowl without splatter fallout!!!!

Here is Math Fail on Facebook. And here is the Math Fail blog run by Self proclaimed Math Geek Mike, who explains that in addition to math fails, you will find a huge collection of geeky math jokes, interesting math facts, dumb math news, puzzles, speed math advice, math related comics, funny math pictures and more!! (It is not a Cheeseburger Fail blog.)

It is just a fun blog to explore. Here are some examples.

Who can be offended? They’re just numbers!!!!

Debbie O’Sullivan’s pinterest stream Math Puns/Jokes is worth a visit or two.

The Math Cartoons & Humor is pinterest run by Jiji the penguin. Actually, the penguin didn’t do it. Jiji the penguin is the mascot of STMath, a commercial education system that teaches math visually, and with minimum language, in the USA. Here are some examples of the humor:

Mashup Math is mind blowing from its math philosophy to its eclectic approach. Anthony Persico runs MashUp Math. He has taught in NY, VA, and CO and runs a YouTube channel. He believes in inclusive math education,that all students learn math differently and that the one-size-fits-all approach is ineffective. The worksheets, teacher resources supplied via mathmashup are FREE!

This is a screen shot of  his roller coaster youtube clip on gradient or slope!!!

Here is his Mathsmashup You Tube channel (above), which is designed to help visual learners.

Here are some amazing sports stats (above) from the LA Times. Basketball Legend Kobe Bryant’s 30,699th and final field goal came from 19 feet with 31 seconds left against the Utah Jazz. This picture below shows every one of the 30,699 goals he scored. AMAAAAAAZING!

Math Antics Youtube Channel is run by, Rob and Jeremy, who are both funny and clear in their maths clips, which are directed mainly at Middle school. The youtube lessons are free, but Rob and Jeremy do charge teachers US\$20 for a year of worksheets.

Their Math Antics website is here.

Base 10 video screen grab.

Order of Operations Screen grab.

## 5. You can jump out of an airplane that is about to crash and catch the baddie who took the last parachute.

January 10, 2019

The names Bond, James Bond. In Moonraker  with Roger Moore (1979) 007 jumps out of a plane without a parachute to avoid an assassination attempt. He catches up with, Jaws, arch-baddie, in mid-air and takes his parachute. Jaws survives his fall by landing on a big top circus tent.

In Point Break with FBI agent Johnny Utah, Keanu Reeves, leaps from a skydiving plane after Patrick Swayzes’ characer, Bohdi, who has taken the last parachute. Utah catches Bohdi in mid-air, and after a tense confrontation with a gun, both survive using Bodhi’s chute. The remake was in 2015.

There are more movie and real life stories at the  Free Fall Maths link.

Note: We’ll assume Bhodi and Utah have equal horizontal velocities (plane exit velocity plus wind) so the following calculations only involve the vertical or falling velocity. The terminal velocities used for Bhodi and Utah are realistic estimates.

## 10. You can out run a lava flow … USA UNITS

November 17, 2018

This is a rework of a previous post with full calcs.

Every volcano disaster movie from Volcano (1997) with Tommy Lee Jones to Dante’s Peak (1997) with Pierce Brosnan someone somewhere tries to out run a lava flow. Is this possible?

The answer is maybe. You will find everything you want to know about lava flows here.

On January 10,1977, at Nyiragongo lava sprang from the sides of the volcano moving at speeds up to 40 miles per hour. About 70 people were killed.

Measuring the temperature of lava. Photograph by R.L. Christiansen, U.S. Geological Survey, January 9, 1973.

The fastest Lava flows recorded were in Hawaiiin 1950 when Mauna Loa erupted. The lava traveled at 6 miles per hour through thick forest. But once the lava flows became established and good channels developed, the lava in the channels was flowing at up to 60 mph.

Speed of average sprinter = 10 – 15 mph

# You would be scorched in 33 seconds!!!

## 10. You can out run a lava flow … METRIC

November 17, 2018

This is a rework of a previous post with full calcs.

Every volcano disaster movie from Volcano (1997) with Tommy Lee Jones to Dante’s Peak (1997) withPierce Brosnan someone somewhere tries to out run a lava flow. Is this possible?

The answer is maybe. You will find everything you want to know about lava flows here.

On January 10,1977, at Nyiragongo lava sprang from the sides of the volcano moving at speeds up to 40 miles per hour (60 km/hr). About 70 people were killed.

Measuring the temperature of lava. Photograph by R.L. Christiansen, U.S. Geological Survey, January 9, 1973.
The fastest Lava flows recorded were in Hawaiiin 1950 when Mauna Loa erupted. The lava traveled at 10 kilometers per hour through thick forest. But once the lava flows became established and good channels developed, the lava in the channels was flowing at up to 97 kph.

Speed of average sprinter = 16 – 24 kph

May 8, 2018

# The amazing maths of volcano eruptions.

Once lava flows are established new RIVERLETS can run on top of the original lava flow at great speed.

The fastest Lava flows recorded were in Hawaii in 1950 when Mauna Loa erupted. The lava traveled at 6 miles (10 kilometers) per hour through thick forest. But once the lava flows became established and good channels developed, the lava in the channels was flowing at up to 60 miles/hour (97 kph)

# Can you out run a lava flow?

You are 2 km from the volcano rim and start running.

VL =   97 kph = 1.6 km per minute (k/min)

=   60 mph

VH = 18 kph = 0.3 km/min

= 11.2 mph (miles per hr )

May 7, 2018

# The amazing maths of volcano eruptions.

One of the greatest dangers in a volcano eruption is not the lava flow OR being hit by a lump of flying lava or rock, but by being choked by the fast moving scorching hot pyroclastic cloud.

In 1991 pyroclastic cloud blew out of the side of Mount Unzen in Japan. NASA has an excellent diagrams for such an event here.

According to the NASA website:

Highly mobile, these flows reach velocities of up to 400 kilometers (250 miles) per hour and can spread as far as 100 kilometers (60 miles) from the eruption point.

# Can you out run a pyroclastic cloud?

Here is what happened in 1991 when the pyroclastic cloud blew out of the side of Mount Unzen in Japan.

July 17, 2017

# Grizzly Bear

Weight:   250kg

Height:   250cm

Top Speed: 56kph  =   16 m/sec

More bear stats here.

# Brown Bear

Weight:  680kg

Height:   250cm

Top Speed: 35kph  = 10m/s

More bear stats here.

Comparing these speeds to the fastest man on earth, Usain Bolt:

# Usain Bolt:

Top speed: 243kph =   12m/s

So Usain Bolt could out run a Brown Bear but NOT a Grizzly!

# Bears are NOT as dangerous as:

In fact more Americans die choking on their own vomit each year than a re killed by bears.

More death stats here.

But bears are very fast so Park Rangers recommend the following survival tactics:

More bear survival info here.

REF: Dog helps save hikers after grizzly chases them for 20 minutes here.

July 17, 2017

# Grizzly Bear

Weight:  550 lb

Height:  8’ 2”

Top Speed: 35 mph  =   51 ft/s

# Brown Bear

Weight:  1,500 lb

Height:  8’ 2”

Top Speed: 22 mph  =  32 ft/s

Comparing these speeds to the fastest man on earth, Usain Bolt:

## Usain Bolt:

Top speed: 27 mph  =   40 ft/s

# Bears are not dangerous:

………………………………………………………………………

In fact, more Americans die each year from choking on their own vomit than are killed by bears.

More death stats here

Nevertheless, bears are very fast. So you can see why Park Rangers offer the following advice:

The reason for waiting until the bear is 15 ft away is to make sure the spray doesn’t disperse in the air. If the Pepper Spray is too spread out it will not stop the bear.

## Fire Fighters Need Maths

October 22, 2015

Black Saturday Bush Fires Australia

The Fire Season in Australia arrives suddenly. The frightening warning (above) can be heard on the national broadcaster as fires spring up around Australia. It seems no time at all since Aussie fire fighters were helping fight fires in California. Now they’re back. Elvis, The Aircrane, returns form the US for another tour of duty in Victoria.

Aircrane, Elvis, returns to fight bush fires in Australia. Herald Sun

Here is something you may not realise:

## MIDDLE SCHOOL MATHS.

You can check out a typical Fire Fighter Maths Curriculum here. The significance of the Fire Fighter Maths is that the numbers are shocking. You can look at a wildfire on TV, but when you calculate how much time you have to escape, the answer is truly terrifying.

So here is a Fire Fighter Maths problem from one of Mathspig’s Middle School Worksheets titled:

# METRIC UNITS

On 7th February 2009 a bushfire began in Victoria Australia that killed 173 people, injured 414 people, destroyed 2,100 homes and displaced 7,562 people. Known as The Black Saturday Bushfires the fire front travelled at up to 600m per 30 seconds. The radiant heat produced was capable of killing people 400 meters away.

Are fire fighters safe in such a fire? How much time do they get to escape the fire in a fire truck even if the fire front is 5 km away? We can do the math:

Q 7: You are a fire fighter in a fire truck when the wind hits the fire front at 120 km/hr. Suddenly, the fire front starts moving at 100 kph. You are, thankfully, in a fire truck but the wind and smoke haze makes driving the truck difficult. You can only make 80 kph along a straight road away from the fire (See pic above)The fire front is 5 km away. How long have you got before the fire front hits?

1. Find S1 (Fire Front Speed) and S(Fire Truck Speed) in m/sec and kph.
2. Fill in this equation where  d  (distance of fire front from point on map) and d2 (Distance of Fire Truck from the same point on a map)

d1 =   d2   +   ………

3. Use the following equations to calculate the time t that you have before the flames hit.

# USA UNITS

On 7th February 2009 in The Black Saturday Bushfires the fire front travelled at to 656 yds per 30 seconds. The radiant heat produced was capable of killing people 437 yds away.

Are fire fighters safe in such a fire? How much time do they get to escape the fire in a fire truck even if the fire front is 3.1 miles away? We can do the math. Answers below.

Q 7: You are a fire fighter in a fire truck when the wind hits the fire front at 75 mph. Suddenly, the fire front starts moving at 62 mph. You are, thankfully, in a fire truck but the wind and smoke haze makes driving the truck difficult. You can only make 50 mph along a straight road away from the fire (See pic above). The fire front is 3 miles away. How long have you got before the fire front hits?

1. Find S1 (Fire Front Speed) and S2 (Fire Truck Speed) in ft/sec and mph
2. Fill in this equation where  d1   (distance of fire front from point on map) and d2 (Distance of Fire Truck from the same point on a map)

d1 =   d2   +   ………

3. Use the following equations to calculate the time t that you have before the flames hit.

# WORKSHEETS

Fire Fighter Math 1: Wildfire Algebra You will find the worksheets in both METRIC & USA Units Here. Yes! There is a small fee. Mathspig and Roni the Rodent (left) have this very, very slow get rich quick scheme going. Ha!

Lesson Plan:

Students discover that fire fighters need middle-school math. Students complete some warm-up exercises involving unit conversions (mph to ft/sec or kph to m/sec) without and with a calculator and then they simplify algebraic expressions and solve simultaneous equations. Students use this math to calculate real life fire front speeds that fire fighters have faced in Montana, USA and Victoria, Australia. The power of this math is that the calculations are based on the stories about and conditions faced by these real fire fighters. No lectures are needed on the danger of wildfires as the numbers speak for themselves.

## Dangerous Maths 3: Shark Attack

July 31, 2015

Aussie Pro surfer, Mick Fanning, grabbed world attention when he was attacked by a shark in the Fanning J-Bay Open, South Africa on Sunday 19 July, 2015. Fanning was knocked off his board and forced to fight for his life. He survived. News.com

One shark expert suggested the shark was a young great white shark under 3.5 metres.

# How fast can a shark swim?

According to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History:The torpedo shape of the great white is built for speed: up to 35 miles per hour (50 kilometers per hour). And then there are the teeth — 300 total in up to seven rows.

# How fast can you swim?

According to Junior Olympic Games Qualifying Times 2015

For 13-14 yo 100m freestyle:

t girl = 1.15 or 75sec

t boy =1.10. Or 70 sec

Lets assure you are an average swimmer but highly motivated on seeing a shark:

t kid = 100 secs

So you can swim 100m in 100 sec. But will you survive??????

Surf Lesson Bluey’s Beach NSW 2009

We’re sooo tough in Australia! Shark, Smark! Whatever.

Picture from Daily Telegraph

Also according to the Smithsonian: Sharks can detect both the direction and amount of movement made by prey, even from as far as 820 feet (250 meters) away.

But there is hope as, according to the National Geographic Channel, Most shark attacks occur less than 100 feet or 30.5 m from the shore mainly around popular beaches in North America (especially Florida and Hawaii), Australia, and South Africa.

Again we will assume that the swimmer is 30m offshore when he sees the shark fin 250m away. But this time we will have the world’s fastest swimmer. This time we are talking Dav vs Shark!!!!!!!!!