## 1. Hat Wearers Wear Hats

October 12, 2010

Statistics

The SELF SELECTING SAMPLE.

(Thanks Ivy for the No 1 rocket.)

Newspaper and magazine editors urge their readers to ‘click-on our website poll’ and then they publish the results in the next issue. The newspaper may learn about their readership. This is useful information for marketing but otherwise useless. It’s like asking hat wearers if they wear hats. Let me guess the answer? D’uh!

Included here are some results of two self-selecting surveys, which not only reveal the standard useless statistics but also some highly questionable numerical outcomes. In the Esquire Magazine Survey of Drinking (Sept 2010)  82% of their readers, who were willing to answer a survey about their drinking habits (Whereby, for some reason. 1 beer = 2 drinks), have a University Degree or higher (Or, maybe, 50% of them lie!!!!) and in the Health and Fitness (Oct 2010) magazine survey  - Guess what? – magically the numbers for all options add up to 100%. Neat! Didn’t anyone fit more than one category? (Assuming all readers of Health and Fitness mag who are bothered enough to answer a survey on fitness do some exercise.)

## 2. My Mum Says Survey

October 12, 2010

Statistics

The SMALL SAMPLE error.

A survey is taken but the number of people surveyed is so small as to be irrelevant; not much better than simply asking your mum for her opinion and publishing the results.

Included here is a full-page Women’s Weekly (Oct 2010) ad for an Elizabeth Arden Anti-wrinkle Cream. Look at these wonderful statics. 92%… 85% …Wow! Look at the language. Gives eyes a ‘radiant and luminous look’ Sounds like the DEVIL!!!! Read the small print.

The survey was based on 30 participants and ‘results may vary’.

October 12, 2010

Faux Algorithms/ Dodgy Calculations:

Guess Work disguised as a Mathematical method or equation.

Moderately reputable institutions often present statistics and/or calculations, which appear sound but really involve, at best, an educated guess; at worst, a pull-the-number-out-of-your-hat trick.

The RICH LIST is one example. Forbes is a respectable magazine but they are not privy to all the complex financial interests of various list members. How  rich is Scrooge McDuck? Like, rooolly rich, dude!!!!! So which one on the Rich List is Scrooge????

Then there are the boffins who produce rubbish formulae for pouring beer, making the perfect piece of toast and popping champagne. These formulae are often sponsored by manufacturers to promote a product such as a new beer brand. Some examples include The Perfect Sitcom (quality = (rd+v)f÷a+s) to promote UKTV Gold; The Perfect Joke (x = (fl + no)/p) to promote some comedian; The Perfect Day (quality = O + NS + Cpm÷T + He) to promote ice cream; The Perfect Rugby Kick (KP = CSP – s + w + r + yn + cr + sc + mt + xn + ctw), which somehow has something to do with a research company called Qinetiq; The Perfect Chip (Tesco)”  and so on. This is rubbish maths because most of the ‘variables’ ( x, t, w, etc)  cannot be measured. It’s all guesswork!!!! See Mathspig Post Britney’s Naughtiness Rating Calculated for Idiots

## 9. We’re All Gonna Die!!!!!!!

October 12, 2010

Statistics

Statistics apply to Groups not Individuals

or Why Death Rates are Over-Rated!!!

We’re All Gonna die!!!  Well, um, this statement is true. The morbidity rate for humans is still 100%. Hopefully, you will be happy, healthy and 110 years old before such statistics begin to worry you.

Newspapers often run statistics stating that your chance of being killed by a shark is 1 in 271,257 as shown. It’s NOT.

Firstly, you know this statistic is a bit dodgy. If you do not go into the water ever you will never be eaten by a shark. You chance of being shark bait is a BIG 0.

Secondly, these statistics apply to groups not to the individual. In every 271,257 Australians 1 MIGHT be eaten by a shark. In 251, 257 surfers the numbers eaten by a shark would be MUCH greater.

Finally, these numbers still seem high. What?  77 people are killed by sharks in Australia annually. NO. These are statistics over a lifetime. 80 years, say. Less than 1 Aussie a year is killed by sharks on average but just because one surfer has died you cannot say ‘Great! The sharks have reached their annual quota I can go back in the water.’

Statistics can NEVER tell you WHAT might happen to you!

It’s a GROUP THING. All you can learn from these statistics are the  exit-the-earth probabilities for Australians that, mostly, we don’t get to choose.